Thoughts

I'm taking advantage of the ridiculous heat to laze around in the house and catch up on all the blogs I've been missing. I know people only put their best foot forward on their blogs, because who wants to write or read about the mundane things of daily life with a family? But there are times that it makes me feel like I'm totally lacking in the departments of being a fun mom, being a creative mom, being a super housekeeper and over all feeling like I just am not turning out to be the person I wanted to be at this point in my life. I will express these thoughts to Jeff sometimes and he looks at me kind of funny and tells me I'm being too hard on myself. I probably am, we are after all our own worst critics. But the past few weeks watching friends struggle, struggling myself it got me thinking, does our Heavenly Father look at us this way? Are we expecting way more out of ourselves than He is? When I know that my children can do better than they are doing, I try to be encouraging and get them to "rise to the occasion". But sometimes we have to just accept that this is their best efforts for where they are on that day. Is that how He looks at me? When I stumble and fall, does he get frustrated because he knows I can do better? or does he lovingly help me up and give me a hug and tell me it will be alright? What about the times when I'm not sure that my sorries are said the right way, or often enough? Are they still accepted? I try my hardest every day to be the best I can be. Some days (like when I got put on the President's list at school) I feel like I'm accomplishing the things I want to and I feel good. But most of the time I look past all the good I'm doing and just see all the stuff I'm lacking. Not stuff, that's not the right word, but I can't think of a better one at this time. I have this list in my head of how I want to keep my house, how I want to raise my kids and how I want to be as a wife and a friend and even a student. This year during the summer I've had a hard time doing it all. School, cleaning, playing with the kids and enjoying some private time with Jeff or just by myself has become too much! I cannot do it all. I CAN'T. I WANT to. Oh I forgot to add spending time in the temple, reading my scriptures, keeping up with my spiritual needs. I should be able to do all this right? Oh one more, exercising. How am I supposed to exercise when it is a bazillion degrees outside? Anyway, I'm getting off topic. So what do you think? Are we harder on ourselves than our Heavenly Father is? I know he loves me. I also know I'm way harder on myself than I probably should be, but how else do we improve if we don't take the time to evaluate where we are lacking? What do you think?